Solace.

I can make it through the rain,

I can stand up once again,

On my own and I know That I'm strong enough to mend,

And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith,

And I live one more day,

And I make it through the rain.

This is how I feel today.

Never being the BEST.

I remember when I was in Sunday school as a young girl. Every week we'd do a game, or a quiz. I was about 5 give-or-take so I'm unsure of most of the details. Every single week I remember all winning the prize of a £1 coin. I knew I was smartest, and the one who'd win every week because I was always listening and trying my hardest.

A new girl came into the class called Robin. I remember nothing about Robin except that the moment she came in, I was no longer the best. From then on, no matter how hard I tried or listened she kept getting the pound coin and I was deparately disappointed in myself.

In the present day, I'm not sure I'm the 'best' at anything I do. If I sat and picked out everything I enjoy or things I do, I could immediately tell you somebody who was better/faster/more knowledgable than me at it.

That's no reason to be threatened by others or disappointed at yourself in. I think it's important to encourage others to do what they enjoy rather than what they can be the best at. If you trained for 10 years to be 100m champion, in a few years somebody else would get your medal and you'd go back down to not being the best again.

The point is sometimes we lose sight of what's important, and what ultimately leads to our happiness. If we all were completely comfortable in ourselves then I believe competitions would be a lot less popular. You don't need a title or a trophy to be proud of yourself.

I like to think that at the things I enjoy I am good at. I've referees which could tell you how good I am and I could pull out certificates to tell you so. But I've started to learn that to truely be good at something you enjoy - you have to truely enjoy it and not do it for some sort of recognition.

Take this blog, I get very few comments and a fair amount of views. I could run myself down and say 'What's the point, nobody is reading this' or 'I'm not as good as X, Y or Z at this' but then I'd be doing it for others for glory - instead of doing it for myself but maybe giving others some solace.

If we let a sense of glory and pride take over our minds then we're just being so untrue to ourselves.

Live and love, don't always try to be the best.

Failing to learn, learning to fail.

No matter what we do in life it seems there's always something to learn. Even if you're not in education or further education - you'll have to learn.

You'll learn in a job, in social situations, in Church, in driving lessons, learning a musical instrument, bringing up a child, organising a wedding, moving house. Whether practical, mental, or physical we will never in our lives stop learning.

Also as we get further in our constant learning, we will come to teach others what we know - most likely unprofessionally. This is important. I find it's so easy to get caught up with what you don't know and you forget how far you've come.

It's likely that from time to time you'll meet people who think they have superiority over you, as they know more about a certain aspect of something - or they've accomplished something you're still trying to accomplish. Push it to the side and remember that you may be the one making yourself feel inferior.

Don't punish yourself and remember all you can do is keep trying. You will fail many times, and you will fail 10 times more than you ever though you could until you almost hate yourself for trying. But once you stop trying then you will have let it beat you. You will have let people beat you.

You have your whole life to accomplish tasks. Nothing will be taken away from you because you didn't accomplish things quick enough. Nothing will be taken away from you because you didn't do it first time around.

Don't forget what you have achieved, and always stay true to yourself.

TRUST yourself.

I only say all this because I know it's true and I wish my heart and the pit of my stomach would believe it too sometimes.

I miss my favourite boys.