Sunday 24 April 2011

Maybe I should be smarter.





I was talking to my friend about my blog, and when and why I write. Usually I write as a response to extreme emotions, and to be honest it's mostly when I'm upset or frustrated. Which I realise paints a certain tumultuous image of myself to those who know me primarily from what they read about me on the Internet, but what are blogs for? :P


I'm feeling a bit frustrated at the minute, and a wee bit sad amongst that some of the time. I feel like I'm going down a road which promises more uncertainty than certainty, and I'm not sure I really know how to deal with that. The thing is though, a good percentage of the time I'm actually so happy, and the reasoning's are valid, and I'm not chained and I am free but choice can complicate matters. It's a lot easier to be told what you have to do, and being given the choice and freedom to weigh up the pros and cons and really see if this going to make you more happy or more upset... and can you really be bothered with all the drama?


Amidst all of this I guess you gotta be aware of your own sense of self and evaluate if it's being compromised in any way. I'll bring this back to my motto in life; 'Above all else, to thine own self be true'. I don't think I am compromising and I say that if an additional opportunity presented itself that could offer me more I'd kinda feel obliged to take it even though I have obvious strong connections with the life I'm living now. However I've too much going on to worry, but I'll update in 1 months time and see where I'm standing on all of this because I expect things will have changed greatly.



In the mean time I'm listening to Alanis Morissette and Gregory and the Hawk and stressing out about being in the last month of education in my life.

Sunday 3 April 2011

Without all the excuses.


I seen him today. And there was no butterflies, no sinking, lifting, or racing of my heart. And I start to wonder if I've just been using it as an excuse for five years of my life.


But man, I felt on top of the world.