Bigging yourself up.

Expect more frequent blogging now I'm home and have a good bit less to do. For the mean time anyway!

Today I've been thinking about jobs, and re-writing my old CV to try and give employers an impression of what I'm like primarily as a worker who would benefit their company. Along with this it got me thinking about some of the people around me and how they'd present themselves in the workplace, and of course outside of it say on a dating site or something along those lines.

Friends come and go, relationships break-up and family can drift apart. It's important I think to always stay true to yourself and have a positive image of yourself. A broken negative person I think doesn't get as far in life because they don't really think they're good enough. You need to believe in yourself and what you can achieve to really do anything in life; travel, have successful relationships, have a successful career. Not to mention emotional stability.

I agree that you can't really expect anybody else to love you if you don't love yourself. Despite your flaws and bad days you should realise what's great about you and what things you do that have made a difference in peoples' lives and continue to do that.

Summertime.

It's the start of summer, well for me anyway. My uni house was up on Friday there and a room full of stuff tells me that I'll be here for the next three months. I'd be lying if I said I was looking forward to summer and excited for it's opportunites because it was clearly the opposite. I was absolutely having the life of my life and living each minute to the full. Laughing until my jaw was hurting, and being surrounded by the best people ever.

Now I'm home, I feel pretty content. I know I made the most of my second year and I couldn't really ask for more because I always knew it'd come to an end. I guess I'm a little disappointed that so far I don't really have many plans; no holidays booked or jobs lined up. I know I'll have trips to Lurgan and outings all around the place but it's nothing solid I can pinpoint the dates and I guess I don't want to waste a summer.

I'm happy however to get a bit of time off from uni work and happy to spend more time with my family and friends back hoem who I really haven't seen much at all during this uni year. Furthermore I know there's a good few jobs around my area, inlcuding my old workplace so not to be too confident but I really hope one of those will take me. If I do get a job hopefully I can just throw the remains of my student loan into my savings account and keep tranferring my wages into the savings. That way I can just keep topping up my savings and put them into a year bond so by the time I come out of 3rd year I'll have a tidy amount to buy myself a car with. :)

I'm starting to get excited about summertime, and seizing some opportunites. And if I don't end up where I assume I will it'll just open doors for me to do other things with my time.

Life is good, I am so happy.

...but I miss you all like crazy.

Things you can't really say.

1. Sometimes I just want to be around you. I think we're so similar and I wish you knew how great you really are. You're far from perfect but that's probably what I like most about you. Your honesty inspires me.
2. I'm not sure about you. I think you're so real, so passionate and I love you so much, but we're not a combination that works more than once in a while. I'm scared to spend too much time with you and become strangers. Maybe what we have already is what we should always have.
3. You will always be in my heart. You have made the past while the best time of my life and I'm eternally thankful for you and everything you've brought into my life.
4. You know I can't give up you, and I think you take total advantage of that.
5. You make the worst decisions, and you make us all have to jusify them for you. I'm fed up with it.
6. I doubt I'll see you much anymore. I really, really hope you prove me wrong.
7. I spent time with somebody who reminded of you so I would get a part of you back, and he really never came close to anywhere near as amazing you were. I know you've put back all your walls and I know we're not the people that we were but I'd bend over backwards to have a shred of what we had in my life again. But hey, you already know that.
8. My heart continues to struggle to beat when I see you, no matter how many years pass.
9. You're the sweetest thing in the universe.

The great times.

1. Bearded men.
2. Taking off your heels after a night out and smiling away to yourself.
3. When everybody accidently falls asleep whilst spooning.
4. Dancing alone around your room in underwear/jammies.
5. Boys who wear jammies, and when they're in their jammies.
6. Going out for 3 course dinners, and HAVING to get three courses and pressuring everybody else to do the same.
7. Plucking eyebrows.
8. Syncronised dance moves.
9. That face you do when you're dancing silly.
10. Writing songs in your drafts to download later.
11. Poking fun at somebodys accent and saying 'You've SUCH an accent on ya.'
12. Spontaneity.
13. When somebody says 'You just made my day'
14. Cinnamon candles.
15. The smell of candles after they've been blown out.
16. The feeling of your legs after you shave them.
17. Live music.
18. Slush puppies.
19. Souvenirs from nights out.
20. Pouring sukie/tropical juice into mugs and freezing them, then eating them with a spoon.
21. Onsies.
22. Hopping around the living room in the morning dancing with Aoife.
23. Chocolate whip at nighttime when watching movies.
24. Shouting 'Eassssssssssssssssssy' at point at somebody if they mention the word.
25. Being regulars.
26. Photobooth strips of group photos.
27. Persistence.
28. Feet.

What I'm about.

1. Getting good marks.
2. When that song comes on the radio and everybody slowly starts dancing.
3. Softmints when I'm on trains.
4. Using a blue highlighter.
5. Ponytails when you've serious studying to do.
6. Turning the hot water on for at least 2 hours before getting a bath, and not turning it off until you're out.
7. 'Over The Rainbow'
8. Putting your hand over your mouth and pretending to kiss your friend.
9. Glee under a blanket with your friends.
10. Calorie free, and free dominos pizza.
11. Little Big Planet, and playing it with Gerald by ourselves because only we can pass the levels. :P
12. Rape dance.
13. Rape coat.
14. Shouting 'YOU LOVE IT' when somebody looks disgusted at something.
15. Laying in bed giggling with your best friend after a great night out.
16. The Catcher In The Rye, and how it always makes me laugh.
17. Good Grammar!
    

I can feel the seasons changing.

I love that the end of this year feels like the end of my first year. I feel so blessed and lucky to have such loyal, fun-loving friends around me. I've really had such a great year, with the obvious tears of sorrow balanced out by the laughter every single morning. I guess it's about now when the weather turns into blue skies where I get all reflective thinking about how I'll never be as happy as I am now; but of course I will.

I'm experiencing so much; physically, emotionally and mentally. Growing and developing with those around me and never ever feeling alone. The sunlight means swimming, walks on the seafront, playpark, pear cider, BBQ's and actually using the balcony.

Here's to a fantastic two weeks celebrating the best years of our lives!

I still don't regret it.

And I'm already thinking of doing it again.

Deal breakers.

When we're looking at a potential boyfriend, we have things we go for. Things that make our friends point boys out in magazines and say 'Do you like him?'. Obviously first we have the physicality's that attract us. For instance somebody would see a guy with a lip piercing at go weak at the knees and others would cringe.

However, when you develop real feelings for somebody the fact that they're not 6 foot tall doesn't seem to matter as much. You end up attaching yourself to their thoughts and what you can see from their heart and not what others will criticise them for. It's nice in a way to see inside somebodies heart and never run out of things to talk about or places to go.

Sometimes it's a few minutes after you meet somebody, or could be way longer but usually there's a point where you find something out about somebody that makes you so turned that you really couldn't be with them in any real sense. That's more of a good thing I guess and the earlier the better you realise before either of you have invested any part of your heart.

Ultimately we are who we are. Most of the things in our lives are there because we choose them and if we want to change those we can, so we really shouldn't get caught up in the idea that are lives are something written in stone. We will meet thousands of people in our lifetime and each one will be somewhat different that the others. I guess what we really have to figure out is what our own deal breakers are, and why they are there and if they could be compromised. I just know that if in doubt, don't go there - because it'll never be worth it and you'll all end up getting hurt.

And always remember that you might be a deal breaker for somebody too, so be careful.

What makes life what it is.

1. Laughing out loud at movies with your best friends.
2. Yogurts in morningtimes.
3. Eating meals with wee spoons.
4. Theme parties.
5. The song 'My humps' by The Black Eyed Peas, and dancing to it in your kitchen whilst doing dishes.
6. The feeling of clothes when you take them out of the tumble dryer, and putting them in for 20 seconds before you take them out so they're all warm when pulling them out.
7. Hairspray.
8. Singing along to musicals.
9. xanga.com
10. Poking fun at your friends.
11. Hoovered floors.
12. Dancing in dresses.
13. When you're watching a movie or listening to a song and thinking 'That's so me.'