Knowing yourself all too well.

Do you ever get that feeling that you know exactly how to bring yourself down, and you know exactly how to make yourself feel like nothing in this world or the next could pick you right back up again?

When anybody is going through some bad times the thing we want to do the most is too take their pain away and show them that they are loved and not alone.  But when we are feeling in that very pit ourselves and somebody asks "What can I do to help you?" it's hard to come up with anything that willl lift you up except for someone to lie there and accept you as you are and tell you that they are willing to listen to you rattle on about the same things that you always do.  So you rattle on and as much as you feel repetitive and sad, it does help - the acceptance helps.

1. You make things easier, and thank you for keeping my secret. ;)
2. Words cannot express my feelings for you, and sometimes I am not aware of them myself.  I wish I could tell you about all of this.  I wish I could put it all on you, but I am pretty sure it will only be to your detriment.  And to be honest I love you far too much for that to happen.
3. You supported me when I expected you to the least.  And I needed that.
4. You are the most loving person I have ever known.  I am scared nobody else will love me as much as you do.
5. I really hope you found happiness, I am sorry we had to go through what we went through - but I do think it was very important for both of us.

You see I've got this disease that I just can't shake.

When are all these red lights going to turn green?
When will I progress and lift my feet under the sinking sand?

And it's not much.

But it's a step in the right direction.

And you suddenly realise that you're by yourself,
but you're not alone.