Promise this is the last one of these.

I am so angry. And I hate writing this blog about it but I literally just don't want to tell anybody and I don't want encolse lots of details about how hurt, and upset and absolutely balistic I feel. I just need this to sit here as a reminder of what I have to remain like to not get hurt like I did. A reminder that I have to continue like this because going back to my attitude before this is the absolute worst thing I could ever do.

'Nothing is real, until you let go completely'

And yeah maybe I didn't let go. Maybe I was just that stupid and that vulnerable that I thought maybe it'd be okay and maybe things would work out great and I wouldn't get hurt anymore if I just acted a certain way but no matter how many good words you say about someone, and how much you pretend they're actually really honourable they just rip you to pieces without ever knowing what you're going through in the first place.

I need to just stop and think about the people in my life that actually accept and love me all the time. The ones that listen, don't judge, don't patronise. And I swear right now that this is the last pathetic tears I'm going to pour out over this utter rubbish.