But don't look around in anger.

Hello Internet. These days I've been working like crazy. And like anything, when I get busy and stressed it takes very little to annoy me. People's little mannerisms which kinda got on my nerves turns into a situation I really can't stand and blow up everywhere about it. This ends up in me getting extremely at that person because it seems everything they do is so... little. They don't seem to be doing anything... ever. I get so riled up because, well I don't know you just feel like why you should be working your ass of and getting so stressed when others can laze about and be able to do whatever they want. Why are others reaping the benefits without working and you're barely reaping benefits from working?

It's not even that. I'll have those 'bad mood' DAYS. Days where I'll be grumpy from when I wake up until I go asleep nearly. Where my day will be a constant 'Euuuugh' and it seems to be a pile of annoyances. You feel like you have to deal with every little thing, or get dealt all the raw deals. It's easy to get into the 'I have such a hard life' state and you just have to get it into your head that you have a clean conscious. That you are able to suck it up when you're having a crap time and realise that working through it actually teaches you a lot more than never ever trying.

I guess what keeps me going on those 'I'm having the worst day ever' is the fact that I'm trying. I'm doing something in order to get something... in order to get somewhere. I'm not sitting on my arse with my arms open for the universe to hand me all I've ever wanted. I'm not taking all the money from a big rich family or the government. Sometimes it feels like you're hard done by because you can only truly compare your downs with your ups. You can only go by your own experiences and that's very limiting. We all know about the war in Iraq and the starving children in Africa but that doesn't really make us feel any better because emotion and feeling is more than extreme comparisons. If we dealt with our down days with a 'get over it' attitude then we'd be being unrealistic.

Ultimately there's no point in being angry and it's a destructive and dangerous side effect of a lot of hard work and despite what I write on the Internet sometimes - a good load of banter and experience. :) Hopefully I'll be less angry and more embracing of the good points and lovely people I've met. I promise one day soon I'll blog happy thoughts.