Complicated relationships.

We live in an age where relationships are difficult to define. We find out most people are in a relationship by facebook statuses. People who kiss are not necessarily in a relationship, people who have sex with each other are not necessarily in a relationship and even people who have children together are not in a relationship together. We live in an age where everything has become so blurred, so debatable and so personal. Even if we are in relationship, we can brand it an open relationship, a casual relationship, an on/off relationship and the list is really endless.

So where does that leave us? Where have all these new so-called evolutions of relationships really brought us? If you have an open relationship then that means both parties are allowed to kiss, have sex with, date other people. Does that not defy the point of a relationship? Is that up to the individuals? Have relationships instead of being a concrete unification become this extremely convenient agreement where it's all about trying to get all the good stuff and leave all the bad stuff?

After briefly delving into a 'casual relationship' I can conclude they are definitely not healthy, they do not breed a problem free relationship, and they certainly don't leave you happy. The thing is why we want a relationship is for companionship, somebody we can commit ourselves to and ultimately fall in love with. In my opinion anything other than a 'taken seriously' relationship is a time-filler between potential lifetime partners. Everybody usually does want to spend their life with somebody so why are we wasting our time with people we deem too incompatible with?

The obvious answer is for comfort. If we leave a serious relationship we are lonely and vulnerable. We want to feel sexy and wanted. We want something carefree that will make us happy and forget about how hurt we are. We want to enter a casual relationship with no problems. ...can you hear how unrealistic this sounds? Because it is. People have issues, a lot of issues and approaching a relationship to escape from a past one doesn't work. It will create unbelievable problems and you'll leave it a lot hurt, but also a lot wiser (and more sure about what you want).

Relationships are complicated and problematic. They hurt and change who you are and how you feel, but they're meant to. All the love and fun you have in it makes up for it, makes you able to fight everything else that holds you back. I guess my point is never resort to half-relationships when you can have a full, loving, beautiful full relationship with somebody who loves you in jammies and makes fun of how smelly your feet are. Something you'll remember fondly, something you won't be frantically trying to brush under the carpet.

The bottom line is that people are complicated and beautiful. We need to respect that and if want to be in a realtionship we need to take all the crap that comes with taking a person into your life and into your heart. I believe that relationships only fully last, and fully are worthwhile if you take it seriously and respect each other enough to take them in for everything they are.

...says the single girl listening to Kelly Clarkson. :P